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Well, I haven’t been here in a very long time. It’s really not because I haven’t wanted to. Rather, my life has taken a crazy turn over the past 2 years. My company, InkSlinger PR, has built to a place I thought was years down the road. It’s happened quickly, and I feel as if I’m just coming up for air-at least for a little bit of it.

I’m aware that many people think I’m crazy for how much I work. I was raised, however, to believe that anything worth having is worth the time and effort it takes to get it. So that is how I have approached my business. It has taken time away from my family. Thankfully, they are the most supportive and loving bunch in the world. The Husband and the Creatures see my dreams coming true and they cheer me on. They cook and clean and yell, “You can do it!” Honestly, it’s humbling and it’s amazing.

One thing that has suffered a bit is my own writing. I dabble in it and play with it, but it’s not like it was. My extra time is limited and there are just days, when I have free time, all I want to do is snuggle up with my boys and watch a movie or go on a hike…Or even take a shower and shave my legs! So, my own writing time comes and goes. And, honestly, I’m okay with that-Most days. I love my job-Every day. I love it more than anything else I have ever done in my entire life. For me, that says a lot. I’ve had some freakishly wonderful experiences in my life.

So what do I do when I decide things are starting to smooth out and I can breathe a little bit? Well, I decide to teach a Marketing 101 class at The Romance Academy and take a Storysessions class of course. Doesn’t that make perfect sense? No?? Well, it did to me. I was so excited about both things when I said yes. So, SO excited.

Now how do I feel? Well, I’m almost done with all of my lesson plans for the Marketing 101 class so that is a breeze. And, listen, it’s what I do. I’m a literary publicist. I live that every, single day and it excites me and sends a thrill through my body. THAT is NOT what is scaring the crap out of me. What is, then, you ask?

The Story 101 class.

Yes, I am fully aware that this is probably ridiculous. I’ve been writing since I was a little girl. I was a writer before I was anything else-except maybe a musician. So what do I possibly have to be scared of? REALLY? Here’s my profound answer…

What do I NOT have to be scared of??

I’m a publicist. That is how people see me, and I am in the public eye for that-As a literary publicist. Don’t get me wrong. I know books. I know stories. And I know selling them. Am I perfect? Absolutely not. Am I the best? No, although I’m just cocky enough that I like to think I am. I’m not stupid enough to believe that, but I do like to tell myself that. Am I good at my job? Yes.

So, what’s the problem?

I’m a publicist. I’m afraid to say out loud that I am still a storyteller. The market is unbelievably saturated right now. Especially in the land of romance. Ask every single one of my authors. They will all tell you the same thing. They all are asking the same questions. And we are both sitting there every day watching ranks on retailers and sales numbers, we are watching new authors pop up with the new and shiny story that seems to come out of nowhere, and we are all asking, “What’s next”? This is what I do. I watch, I make plans, I put plans into action, and then I tweak according to the results. These are the conversations I have with authors, agents, editors, bloggers, and other publicists. This is what I DO. It’s what I’m known for. And now, I’m creeping back out saying, whispering, “Don’t forget…I’m a storyteller too.”

It’s scary.

I want to run.

Don’t get me wrong. I know without a shadow of a doubt that my community, my beautiful, amazing, ridiculously talented literary community, will support me and embrace me with open arms. But-if I step back and think about what I am really doing-I want to throw up. And here’s why…It seems like everyone has written a book in my world, or is currently writing a book, or wants to write a book. I don’t want to be lumped in as just another person jumping on the bandwagon. I want to be seen as KP-the storyteller that has always been there.

Does that mean I want people to see me as that rather than the literary publicist that I am? Ummm…No. Absolutely not. I would rather die. LOL In all honestly, I want to be seen as both. However, my stories could very well suck. And that brings me to the next fear…

What if I suck??

What if all of the BIG IDEAS that I’ve been slowly writing down, or planning in my head, ultimately stink it up like end-of-the-summer, no-I-haven’t-been-wearing-socks tennis shoes? What if??

Here’s the answer I’ve come up with for all of it.

So what.

That’s it. So. What.

I tell people every day, multiple times, to dream big. To never settle. That the answer is always no unless you ask the questions. What a hypocrite I would be if I allowed my own, deep-down fears to stop me. I’d never be able to look one of my authors in the face again. So I’m going to take this Story 101 class. And yes, I may actually fake it and HOPE that people don’t see my knees and hands shaking, but I’m going to throw myself into it as much as I can.

The instructor, Elora, is an author I adore and one I’ve been working with for some months now. Her book, EVERY SHATTERED THING, will change you and entertain you at the same time. You can’t read it and not be changed. It’s my favorite kind of book because of that. It’s come a long ways since the first time I read it, and I couldn’t be more proud of her. That being said, it took some serious courage and bravery for her to get it where it is now. I opened up her first email for the class today (yes, I’m already behind…) and this is what I saw at the end of the email:

“In May, I came up with a new title. I received the redesign of the cover. And my amazing publicist, who I will carry with me forever and all eternity, started calling out dates for reveals and releases. Suddenly, I was accountable. And every time I reached out my hand, someone from the community was there to help me see the finish line.”

Yeah…that’s me she’s talking about. I don’t know about the amazing, but I am the publicist. And I did grab her hand when she reached out. So just as I was thinking, “I don’t have time for this class”, it was shoved in my face (in a very loving way) that I was using that as an excuse and giving my fear a foothold. I try never to allow that to happen in my life. So I know you’re wondering…

What am I going to do about it?

I’m going to take this class and get the most out of it that I can. I’m going to submerge myself in the information despite the fear and, hopefully, kick the fear (and the book I’m slowly working on) in the teeth or the arse. Whichever one my foot can reach at the time.

And I’m going to blog about it here. As much as I can. Fully aware that the blogging might be sporadic because I work a lot. And I love my job. And I will never allow that to suffer for things I can control. But yeah…I’m saying it out loud again.

I’m a literary publicist.

I’m a storyteller.